I still cannot figure out what the pre-written adventure that the following episode loosely follows was. Oh well. I’ve always said the best thing about pre-written adventures is deviating from them in the most ridiculous way possible.

Also, I forgot an important detail at the end of Episode 2 which I will be editing in after I post this. If you’ve already read it and are curious it’s right in the last chamber.

Worldbreakers: Episode 3

Pushing through the secret doorway the heroes enter a storage room that has not seen a lot of use in recent years with barrels and sacks moldering away in dark, spider-webbed corners. There is no easy path through the arrangement of debris so the party decides to push forward only to discover the crates are filled with a random assortment of curious and strange objects left from the tower’s inhabitants. most concerning, however, is that the dice keep rolling the result for extremely volatile explosives which results in minor wounds to some of the party and more than enough noise to attract the patrolling guards. Biskik, the kobold stockholmes case who was sent through first to trigger any traps, is the first to see them and he squeaks a battle cry as they round the corner, drawing his blades and bravely running behind his gods for protection.

The party easily dispatches the goblin guards, noting they are wearing matching armour and their weapons are very well crafted. Slowly they proceed floor by floor encountering and eliminating what resistance they come across and looting as much as they are able to carry.

They come across an ornate locked door which does not appear to have been opened in some time. Sure that this must hold even more valuable treasures than they’ve been finding the party discusses how best to open it. Biskik is handed some Thieves Tools and told to do his best or displease his gods and with much plaintive wailing he masterfully succeeds. The door rises into the ceiling revealing a wide, V-shaped room with a huge chest at the far end. As the party looks in their minds reel as they are assaulted with the vision of a strange, tentacle-faced humanoid creature walk up to the chest, open it, and then die in silent agony. The vision disappears and Jareb shakingly does not tell the party that he thinks what they just saw was a fabled Illithid, a creature of nightmares said to inhabit Khyber. Raine and Magnus are nonplussed, however, and greatly desire whatever is in the chest.

So they send Biskik in alone to get it.

Brave little Biskik, sure that his gods are protecting him and desperate to not displease them – for every kobold knows that if you displease your gods you’re prone to getting squished – creeps down the long room. His keen senses and trap knowledge note the hole in the walls through which he reasons poison gas must be released. Or bees. Kobolds are big fans of bees. But this tower wasn’t built by kobolds so it must be poison gas.

H reaches the chest and stares at it for some time. He notes the nearly invisible catch that when released would seal his doom. Just as Raine turns to the others and says “Well, that’s the end of him. When he dies do you think the trap will reset?” Biskik jams the release with a slender bit of wire and pops the chest open.

“Biskik did it!” he exclaims proudly.

“…okay, we’re keeping him.” declares Raine.

Inside the chest the party finds an assortment of scrolls which Jareb takes to read, a magical poisoned dagger, and a belt of poison resistance. None of the party needs or uses that sort of equipment so they decide to begin the process of gearing out Biskik who has been promoted from trap-fodder to party mascot.

On the very next floor there is a harrowing encounter with strange, teleporting goblinoid creatures. The party barely survives thanks mostly to the mobility of Jareb and Raine. After the battle Magnus investigates the creatures and thinks that they’ve been augmented through arcane means though he does not recognize any of the practices themselves, They do strip a small set of black leather armour for Biskik to wear and a pointed, feathered cap in the style of Robin Hood’s trademark headgear. Somehow he also ends up with a diamond earring which he decides to wear in his nose. Needless to say this is the best day of Biskik’s short and mostly miserable life. He loves his new gods more than anything!

Tired of constantly being surprised by the denizens of each floor the party finally decides to send scouts ahead to check out what lies before them. Biskik and Raine creep up the stairs and see a large kitchen staffed by four kobolds wearing aprons while a hobgoblin looks on cruelly cracking a whip and shouting orders. Biskik weeps for his poor kin for they seem happy in their ignorance of how good their lives could be and seeing this Raine bursts up the stairs letting forth a terrible roar designed to intimidate the hobgoblin. Being untrained in Intimidate he scares the little kobolds nearly to death while the hobgoblin simple strikes back with his whip. The ugly demihuman puts up a bit of a fight but is not match for 200 lbs of enraged cat-druid. By the time the rest of the party makes it up the stairs the fight is over and Biskik is consoling the other kobolds while Raine feasts on raw turkey.

Talking to the kobolds reveals that the little creatures fear that if they don’t deliver dinner to the party upstairs soon they will be severely punished. The party huddle up to discuss their options and it is Garradur who suggests a most devious plan. With a devilish grin he pulls out some of the carefully wrapped explosives they looted from the first room of the tower. Carefully these are inserted into the stuffing of the turkeys that are about to be sent up stairs and the kobold servers are told to be extra super cautious and run as soon as they are delivered. The party sits back and waits, enjoying a short break and a snack, until they hear the series of explosions. Then they charge heroically up the stairs to finish off the dazed and wounded goblins.

Now that they have some breathing room, the party interrogates the kobolds. They discover that the goblinoid forces captured scores of kobolds from their warrens and brought them here to be slave labour. The goblins have a master themselves whose name the kobolds do not know but he is a tall, evil man whose tailed and horned description could only be of the Tiefling race. The heroes tell the kobolds to stay in the kitchen and clean up the mess.

Up the stairs some more the stealthy scouts report that the next floor is larger than the others and is being actively patrolled. The party attempts an ambush but Garradur slips on the steps and falls, bouncing and cursing down to the floor below causing it to fail and a hectic battle bursts out. Thinking quickly, Magnus yells for Biskik to secure the doors so that reinforcements can’t come in which the little kobold barely succeeds at in time. As more goblin forces pound on the doors to get in the party threatens the last surviving guard for information. He reveals that this floor is where they keep the spare kobolds who have been there so long they’ve practically gone feral.

Unsure at how best to proceed our heroes turned once again to Biskik and sent him in first. He picked the lock, opened the door, and stood calmly with hands outstretched before the ravening mob of tiny lizard-folk. He spoke in a soft yet commanding tone and slowly the crowd ceased its yammering and stood listening in rapt attention.

“Friends, kinfolk, kobolds! Biskik stands before you one who has been changed, Biskik who has been touched by the hands of gods and who now offers you the chance to be touched too. They are super good at touching! Biskik was living in a hole with his family until Biskik’s new gods came in and proved how mighty they were by killing every kobold in the hole except Biskik. Then they beated and stabbeded and claweded Biskik’s stone god gargoyle thing and they were even more mighty than it. Now Biskik is anadventerurer with loots and things. look at Biskik’s loot! They gave Biskik a stabby thing and a belt and this shiny and clotheses and a hat! Swear fealty to the Mighty Gods that they may touch you too in your soul places and you may know their mightiness!”

The heroes could only look on in amazement as the wild herd of kobolds threw themselves to their knees chanting impromptu prayers to a pantheon they didn’t even know the names of.

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