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Member Since 03 Mar 2008
Offline Last Active May 24 2017 07:40 AM

#98461 Halday 2014

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 31 August 2016 - 09:22 AM

Only a couple of weeks left on the countdown to the 41st Halday! :)

I am not saying everyone should visit his Amazon Wishlist before 09/15, but everyone should at least console dear Lindsay on the old man she has to put up with ;)

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#98444 RPGMP3 Facebook Page

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 24 August 2016 - 07:39 AM

This may be the best character sheet template we've ever seen.


I don't understand...

Please tell me that Hal is running this adventure... It would make my year!

This hurt my brain

When will you stop making fun of Goggles?

First time I've ever seen an RPG character sheet that required knowledge of musical notation to fill out. :)
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#98398 Greyhawk Guild Wars Session 02

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 21 July 2016 - 09:36 AM

My goodness there's a lot of stuff here! Many thanks all

Hal's been saving up, so he could shower us all with a huge load of Greyhawk, all at once. ;)
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#98397 RPG Review Issue 30 : Superheroes!

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 21 July 2016 - 09:33 AM

In the face of multiple sources interpretations and takes on Lovecraftion Horror, for Verge, we adopted a middleground approach. The Irresolute Idols, as we call our “Great Old Ones”, are entities from outside reality.

"The Irresolute Idols" sounds more like a boy band than a cadre of sanity-blasting entities from beyond space and time.

It’s really not as bad as they're saying.

I’ve even heard that most graven of insults: “It’s as bad as Batman versus Superman: Dawn of Justice”, which is the new benchmark for a superhero flick sucking more powerfully than a locomotive, and more grimly than a stubble­covered arse cheek.

"Grim as a stubble­covered arse cheek" sounds like one of Hal's NPC descriptions. ;)
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#98372 Breaking the Jade Fast

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 16 July 2016 - 03:09 AM

Resurrecting someone... Now, out-of-character, yes, this is a character you want resurrected, but in-character, resurrecting someone seems extraordinarily... well, out-of-character for Harold.
As far as he's concerned, surely (click spoiler tag in quoted post) has gone back into the arms of Pharasma, and this is the best thing for him. And for everybody. How on Golarion was Harold Shinken (of all people) persuaded to bring ------ back to life?

True, it would've been funnier (and more in-character) if Harold had refused to resurrect the NPC, and the other PCs then had to persuade him that it would be the best course of action.

Harold: Nope! Nope-nope-nope-nope-nope! I won't do it, dead people need to stay dead!
Storm: But-
Harold:Deaders gonna dead, brah!
Storm: But think about it, Harold... If dying is a good thing-
Harold:Of course it is!
Storm: Because people get to leave this, uh, vale of tears behind, as they shuffle off their mortal coils, and, uh...
Ash: Hey, when did you take a level of Bard?
Storm: And they can move on to their afterlife, getting the eternal reward that they've earned... Wouldn't that mean that it's even better to die a second time?
Ash:You mean, you want to Die Another Day? Sounds like a real... Bond-ing experience! ;)
Storm: Seriously, think about it! Once you die, you end up in a better place, right? But, once you've been dead for a while, that becomes your new normal, y'know? So, in order for this guy to, um, truly appreciate his new dead-itude, it would be good for him to live again, just for a little while, to remind him what it was like.
Harold:Hmm... On the one hand, I would have to bring a guy back from blissful oblivion, but on the other hand... He might be so furious about being alive again, that he would murderize me, in a fit of angry, angry anger! Also, revenge! Yay!
Storm: Err... yeah! That's the spirit, Harold!
Harold:Incidentally, why are you the one delivering the vile, amoral temptation speech, while the literal devil girl with the horns and the tail is standing wayyy over there?
Misty: Ooh, ooh! I know, I could impale his brain with my invisible nipple-blades!
Chorus:...Wha-a-a-at?! :O
Misty: Don't everyone have invisible nipple-blades? It's, like, when I pull up my shirt, guys stare at my chest, and then there's suddenly, like, blood gushing outta their nostrils! Sometimes, the jets of blood even propel them backwards through the air, so they crash into a wall, but they always end up dying with a smile on their faces, so if you want your friend to enjoy death a second time, then-
Storm: Okay, thank you for that valuable input, Misty. You can shut up, now.
Harold: I volunteer! I must test this new, improved method of delivering people to the embreasts... I mean, embrace of Pharasma!
Storm: [Face-palm]
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#98359 Files Ready

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 09 July 2016 - 02:07 AM

Sessions 11 & 12 await your earful reunion.

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#98358 Jade Regent Session 10

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 09 July 2016 - 02:05 AM

Re-listening to this episode provides a reminder that Lockhart's Kermit voice is pretty much a perfect impersonation of the real thing.


Hey, speaking of Thing, have you guys considered doing a special Muppet-themed RPG one-shot, like an InSpectres variant where the Muppets need help clearing some pesky ghosts/ghouls/number-obsessed vampires/were-Big-Birds/grouchy-garbage-can-dwellers outta their precious theatre? The players could either be human celebrity guest stars on the Muppet Show, or they could be Muppets, too - Hal & Thing would probably be great as Statler & Waldorf, snarky ghostbusters for hire.


Oh, and have you watched that episode of Angel, the Buffy spin-off series about her vampire ex-boyfriend's supernatural detective agency, where the main character ends up gettin' transformed into a Muppet version of himself? There's a celebrity guest star for you, right there. :)

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#98301 Lost Mine of Phandelver Session 16

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 12 June 2016 - 02:07 AM

And then there's Helm who upheld the law and committed murder because a death-prone goddess decided to climb some stairs. He's one of the host of deities they killed off in the purges from the last two editions I don't miss. What god names himself after a hat, anyways?

Also - I do agree that Helm should likely not have killed Mystra - he is the god of guardians and should have barred her entry - killing her did seem a little outside his remit.

If you take anything from my sleep-deprived rant, it's that Helm is a jerk

Well, he is a god

I never liked Helm. He just appeared to be the sulky outsider to the Triad that was Torm, Tyr and Ilmater :)


1d4chan has a lovely summary of those events:

The Times of Troubles, also known as the Avatar Crisis, started in 1358 DR when the two deities Bane and Myrkul thought it would be a great idea to steal the Tablets of Fate from the overdeity Ao. As punishment Ao banishes all of the gods to walk on Toril as mortals(except for Helm who was to guard the gateway back into the heavens) until whoever stole them felt bad and returned them. During this time Mystra got some of her power back and thought it would be a brilliant idea to challenge Helm to get back into the heavens. Helm wouldn't have any of it and and bitch slapped her down the Celestial Stairway. She hit the bottom and died in an explosion of magic. Eventually some mortals, Midnight (who went on to be the next Mystra), Kelemvor, Cyric, and Adon of Sune, fixed everything and they got be gods for a reward. Except for Adon of Sune, he really got the short end of the stick on the loot table for that encounter. He lost faith in Mystra, committed suicide, then got his faith back and went on to frolic in the brothel in the sky.

They also had a truly mind-blowing piece of information about Helm:


Apparently, it's canon... :P

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#98299 Lost Mine of Phandelver Session 25

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 12 June 2016 - 01:58 AM

@ 52 minutes:
Lockhart: You're making me consider home-brewing a system about hats. :)
Lindsay: Do it! Do it, and I'll run it.
Hal: Ooohhh! Could it be a return to Tatters of the King?
Lindsay: Nope!
Hal: Awww, that was a good adventure, the most viewed adventure on the site-
Lindsay: Bye! :rolleyes:

Guess what? Turns out that this is actually a real thing:

So I saw this thread, and it had a great idea. An RpG about hats.

How rad would that be.

So I went ahead and made one. Enjoy hats!

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#98284 Pugs - Awsome for reasons and stuff

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 01 June 2016 - 08:07 AM


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#98241 Hire Me to talk tripe!

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 18 May 2016 - 07:51 AM

Huzzah! Best of luck with your business venture, good sir. :)

if you need a storyteller (a proper one, not a whitewolf one)  i am your man!

No White-Wolfery? Aww, that's too bad - I'm sure you would've made an excellent Fishmalk. ;)
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#98240 Been a long time coming. . .

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 18 May 2016 - 07:48 AM

hay ! mr pencil,  can i have a drawing of me as a deep sea angler fish/man thing inocently chewing some ones arm off?
thanks :-)

It's on my "to-do" list, sir. :)


Incidentally, the party members seem oddly similar to the previous BAGgy Savage Worlds adventure, Runepunk, with Fin playing another glass cannon mage, and Ross playing another combat monkey (well, combat angler fish, anyway). Now we wait with baited breath for Wayne to reveal his character's secret alcoholism, and Tina's Victorian herbalist to perform a devastating sneak attack with a paring knife.
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#98239 RuneQuest Session 01

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 18 May 2016 - 07:39 AM

We decided to give the old girl a whirl [...] but couldn’t ever find an entry point to Glorantha that I could slip in to.

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#98159 Congratulations to the Adorkable Duo

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 04 May 2016 - 08:02 AM

On a related note:

Happy wedding anniversary, Sophie & @The_Nalic, and May the Fourth be with you! :D


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#98137 Player Safe Maps: Lost Mine of Phandelver

Posted by Pencil-Monkey on 18 April 2016 - 08:33 AM

If anyone around here is playing the shiny new Curse of Strahd scenario, you can also get maps for that.

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