Congratulations, friend citizen! Friend computer has granted you imaginary site admin powers!
Rules of the game: Post a comment in this thread where you ban the poster directly above you, for any reason imaginable, up to and including "looking at me funny, bub".
(Optional rules: A La Mode - If any of the real site admins post in this thread, then you receive an animated GIF of @Pencil-Monkey doing that trick with a scoop of Cherry Garcia that got him thrown out of Ben & Jerry's and banned under the municipal health code from using the phrase "moon shot" again.)
Let's begin with a traditional opening gambit:
I ban the person above me for not existing.
[EDIT: Of course, real site admins can edit your posts to change the rules - BJB]
[EDIT2: Luckily we're all far too professional for that]