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How I killed three characters in 1 hour...

gaming anecdotes tales from the table od&d amusing character deaths splat ring of feather falling

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#1 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 10 September 2013 - 09:43 AM

Reposted from the OD&D Discussion boards:
 

The scene: Playing OD&D back in the 80s in a basement rec room.

To summarize the adventure, our party was looking for something called The Well of Time. The DM had hinted that some nifty futuristic doo-dads were waiting there if we were able to discover it. I was playing a 7th level fighter.

Our party had climbed to the top of Mount Something-or-another where the Well was supposed to be located. When we got to the top, we saw that the entire top part of the mountain was missing and we were looking down into a large chasm. The DM explained that the bottom of the chasm was filled with a green haze. He asked what we were going to do.

"This must be it," my youthful (and stupid) self said. "I jump in."

Turns out Mount Something-or-another was a dormant volcano and we were looking down at the forest growing on the floor. So I plummet to my death.

If you died in one of our games, you could roll up a character at 2 levels less than your previous character. So my next character was a 5th level thief that the party met after entering the dungeon. (We had passed the entrance half-way up the side of the mountain.) So we're exploring this long dark hallway - me in front, checking for pit traps. I popped one open. Looking into it, we see that the hall we're in is suspended over the forest floor (an enclosed elevated walkway).

"OK, I'll take a running jump over it," I said.

I land safely on the other side - and on top of the SECOND pit trap that was there. It triggers. So I plummet to my death. (The other party members are now laughing themselves sick. One person starts calling me Wile E. Coyote.)

New character - a 3rd level illusionist found held as a prisoner. My DM gave me a ring of feather fall with one charge "for any future emergencies." We enter an empty 10 x 10 room, when the door begin sliding shut. Everyone gets out except for me. The far wall drops away and - yup - it's opened out into the volcano's maw again. The wall behind me begins sliding forward and it pushed me out. Once again, I'm plummeting to my death.

"I put on my ring of feather fall," I said.

"OK, you stop falling. However, you're still 1/2 mile up!" the DM said. I floated down about 1/4 mile until the ring's charge gave out. At which point, I plummeted to my death.

The DM refused to let me roll up a fourth character (at 1st level) so he just suggested I leave for the night. When the party finally got to the jungle at the bottom of the volcano, they found three craters there - my three impact spots apparently.


 

My DM gave me a ring of feather fall with one charge "for any future emergencies."


That's hilarious! I would probably do exactly the same thing. :)

Too bad he got cranky and had your charge(!) run out---seems to sorta defeat the purpose of giving it to you in the first place...

 


He was a stickler for the rules so he probably figured out how long the charge would last, how far I would've fallen, and at what point I'd start falling again.

Besides, it made for a hilarious 5 minutes as I tried to come up with some new way to save myself as I drifted a half-mile above the surface.

"Can I use my robe as a parachute?" "No."
"Can my Prismatic Wall or Charm Person spells slow my fall?" "No."
"Do I see any giant birds?" "No."
"Can the party lower a rope to me?" "No."
"Can I take off my ring then put it on again when I'm closer to the ground?" "No."
"Can I..." "Too late. You start falling again."

BOOM


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#2 Telemergion

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Posted 10 September 2013 - 11:26 AM

I don't think I could have rolled 2 new characters in that short of a span. It is true that the best sessions are often the ones with the greatest failures.


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#3 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 10 July 2015 - 10:45 AM

So we were playing Dungeons and Dragons and we encountered a Flail Snail...


I did an arcana check, and discovered that this particular one was a Stale Trail Flail Snail. I cast a Beam of Enfeeblement at it.
Then it was a frail Stale Trail Flail Snail.
When its shell shattered, one of the guys picked up all the pieces, saying that he wanted to use the fragments to make a shirt of Scale Mail.
He was making frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail.
But the dungeon master decided that there was no rule we could bend enough to let him use his homemade armor.
So he threw away his failed frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail.

Someone should have used magic to liquefy the armor, and then boil and ferment it. Then you would have had frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale.
Of course, you could then freeze it, which will turn it fairly white, making it pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale.
If you drop the frozen chunks of it on your enemies from above, you will be attacking with pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale hail.
And then, once you've defeated them, you can salvage the hail, and use it to flavor some roast pheasant. Then your party can dine on pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale hail quail.
Of course, you can always use the quail meat to flavor some cabbage. Then your party can also dine on pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale hail quail kale.
After that, you can take the leftover kale, dry it out, and use it to craft parts for toy boats. If you do that, you will have made a pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale hail quail kale sail.
Perhaps a female priest might be taken by the beauty of your sail, and decide to use it as her headgear. In that case, she will be donning a pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale hail quail kale sail veil.
And perhaps she has a blind daughter who lives far away, who she frequently writes letters with charming stories to. However, she's run out of parchment, and thus has to compose her next story on her veil. When her daughter gets her letter, she will be reading a pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale hail quail kale sail veil braille tale.
However, before the letter can reach the daughter, a violent gust of wind snatches it and carries it off into the air! Such a phenomenon can be accurately classified as a pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale hail quail kale sail veil braille tale gale.
The daughter is extremely saddened to never have received her mother's last story. She cries loudly, unleashing a screech of defiance towards the storm that has taken her mother's words from her - an ear-piercing lamentation which can only be described as a pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale hail quail kale sail veil braille tale gale wail.
The story of the blind daughter losing her mother's story will become a widely known fable throughout the entire kingdom. And every time something valuable is lost due to violent weather, the citizens of the kingdom with remember the daughter's plight - and they will take pity on her, and feel the exact same way she did.
They'll pale frail Stale Trail Flail Snail scale mail ale hail quail kale sail veil braille tale gale wail.

All Hail.


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