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#21 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 03:21 AM

I so wish I could pick up Civ V and play a few rounds with someone unfamiliar enough with the series that I stand a vague chance. For someone who's been playing video games all his life, I really suck at most of them. ;) Glad to hear that Tomb Raider was good, though. I'd been worried about that. It's another one of those franchises that died ages ago and has had it's corpse turned into a marionette by money-grubbing soulless corporate shills. Not that I'm at all bitter...

You're just miffed because they down-sized her bazongas. ;-)

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Okay, you'll have to look really closely, but the difference is there. Several cubic millimeters less silicone in dem puppies, these days. Go on, smoosh your eyes up to the screen, then you'll see it. Don't mind everyone else in the office, they'll understand. Tell them it's for science.


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#22 alaricus

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 04:27 AM

Bazongas aside, you have to admit that the first three games were damn good action adventure games, and Lara herself, while not a particularly great character, was still one of the first awesome women gamers got. Granted, the boobs certainly didn't hurt... ;)


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#23 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 05:01 AM

Granted, the boobs certainly didn't hurt... ;)

 

 

Except in the earliest versions, where you could use 'em as letter openers. Ouch!

 

lara+croft+pointy+boobs.jpg


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#24 Telemergion

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 10:52 AM

I blogged about Tomb Raider over on my blog. How do I link to my blog? Oh. Okay, that was easy.


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#25 Kolobos

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 09:42 PM

I remember when they 'cheat' came out for a nude skin in the original PS1 game. I thought, "No way they could get away with THAT!"

Didn't stop my brother from trying to follow each step meticulously day after day. After day...until he finally gave up.

Until he bought the PC version and 'fixed' the skin.... He was persistent, to say the least. I need to remind his wife about this!
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#26 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 26 July 2013 - 06:05 AM

I need to remind his wife about this!

 

Pics or it didn't happen.


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#27 Balgin

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Posted 27 July 2013 - 11:36 AM

I'm still just really beginning it, and I made the mistake of Bringing Morrigan and Sten into, umm, Red March? W/E it's called, the town with the Arl and the supposed undead and such. Anyway, Here I am, trying to be a big damn hero, and just dropping disapproval ratings everywhere. Eventually I decided just to reload from another save point and bring a new party with me.

 

Sten & Morrigan disapprove of lots of things. Almost anything good and charitable really. If you want to have an easy time of it with party members who approve of good deeds then take Leliana, Alistair & Wynne - a good balanced party combo which only needs a main player character to work effectively. Just don't forget to build up Alistair's constitution because Dragon Age, like everyone Bioware game since the days of Baldur's Gate, treats constitution as a dump stat.


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#28 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 01:51 AM

Sten & Morrigan disapprove of lots of things. Almost anything good and charitable really. If you want to have an easy time of it with party members who approve of good deeds then take Leliana, Alistair & Wynne - a good balanced party combo which only needs a main player character to work effectively. Just don't forget to build up Alistair's constitution because Dragon Age, like everyone Bioware game since the days of Baldur's Gate, treats constitution as a dump stat.

 

To be fair, they got pretty close. The traditional dump stat does start with a 'C'. ;-)


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#29 Telemergion

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 11:53 AM

To be fair, they got pretty close. The traditional dump stat does start with a 'C'. ;-)

Doesn't Int start with an I? The only other one that starts with C in vanilla d20 is Charisma and I can't play a game without that.


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#30 Lockhart

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 12:05 PM

I thought he was talking about Cunning, DA's combination stat of int and cha.
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#31 Kolobos

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 06:37 PM

For some reason, I don't remember having a lot of problems with Morrigan with my morality choices... But then, I made her fall in love with my character (which the strategy guide said couldn't be done, strangely), and it has been a few years since I played it.

Sten was a buzzkill, though. Never used him.
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#32 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 01:37 AM

I thought he was talking about Cunning, DA's combination stat of int and cha.

 

But if you don't put points in Cunning, how will you ever become a Cunning Linguist?

 

gene-simmons-oldschool.jpg

 

For some reason, I don't remember having a lot of problems with Morrigan with my morality choices... But then, I made her fall in love with my character (which the strategy guide said couldn't be done, strangely), and it has been a few years since I played it.

Sten was a buzzkill, though. Never used him.

 

Obviously, the authors of the strategy guide had taken Charisma as their dump stat. :-)


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#33 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 22 May 2015 - 02:01 AM


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#34 Hal

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Posted 22 May 2015 - 07:53 AM

Funny :)

 

I have my eye on The Witcher 3 at the moment - anyone given it a go?

 

Apparently there is a sex on a stuffed unicorn cut scene...

 

Hal :hal:


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#35 Telemergion

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Posted 22 May 2015 - 03:12 PM

I still haven't played Witcher 2, or forced myself to finish Witcher 1, which many people have said isn't required.

 

But I am trying to decide if I am psyched for the new Bloodbowl game coming out next month. On the one hand, better UI and vastly improved graphics. On the other hand, a third of the playable races from the latest edition of the 1st game and probably paid DLC to unlock more if/when they get to them. I'll probably wait for it on the cheap. However, if anyone on here owns the original Bloodbowl game for Steam PC (I have Chaos Edition - not sure how compatible they are) and wants to play a few rounds, look me up.


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#36 Sênstaku

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Posted 23 May 2015 - 04:21 PM

Funny :)

 

I have my eye on The Witcher 3 at the moment - anyone given it a go?

 

Apparently there is a sex on a stuffed unicorn cut scene...

 

Hal :hal:

 

I am currently streaming the Witcher 3 as a matter of fact - my next installment of that stream is tomorrow at 9AM EST on Twitch if you'd like to 'try before you buy', as it were. If you enjoyed the Witcher 2, it's an improvement on that and a really good one at that. I'm enjoying it immensely, as is my chat. The Unicorn has been alluded to, but we haven't seen it yet.


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#37 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 14 July 2015 - 07:09 AM

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#38 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 30 July 2015 - 09:26 AM

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#39 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 07 August 2015 - 11:17 AM




Well, that's worth remembering for the next XXX-mas special, if any of the players wish to avoid Pr0n Santa. :)
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#40 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 09 November 2015 - 04:01 AM

Thonnir, the worst companion in Skyrim

This is Thonnir.

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Thonnir is the worst.

I was forced to drag him along with me after he decided that the two of us were going to kill a master vampire. Thonnir wanted to kill that master vampire because he helped turn most of Thonnir’s village into vampires. Thonnir’s dumb wife got bitten by a vampire then burned down a house and killed another dude’s wife and kid. Then his dumb wife tried to kill me, and since you can’t stop and talk things out with a vampire, I bonked her over the head with my mace and killed her. Then I took all her stuff, ‘cause hey, this dead vampire’s got stuff on her! Thanks for the new robe, ya vampire!

Anyway, Thonnir insisted we travel together, so my normal companion, Lydia, went home to wherever the hell she goes, and I quickly found out that Thonnir is the shittiest companion to ever exist. We went into that master vampire’s lair and I kept getting my ass kicked, and Thonnir could only take a few hits before he got on one knee and started crying like a little baby, so I ran away to try other quests and get stronger.

I figured when I fled the vampire’s lair that Thonnir would just stay outside it and wait for me to come back, right? I could go and get Lydia back, level up, then come back later and kill that vampire with stupid Thonnir. Only he didn’t stay at that lair. Thonnir was my new travel buddy, and there was no way to tell him to go away forever. And it got worse.

Here’s how a normal companion behaves:

    Your companion can carry your extra stuff.
    You can issue instructions to your companion (e.g. “Wait here,” “Attack that person,” etc.).
    You can hurt your companion and they won’t attack you back.
    Your companion will only die if you deliver the killing blow.
    Your companion will always find you eventually, even if you lose them.

Turns out, Thonnir’s not a full companion. His partnership with you follows a similar format, but he’s more of a throwaway character, so I’m assuming the game developers just didn’t give him the same rules.

Here’s how Thonnir the Stupid Asshole behaved:

    Thonnir wouldn’t carry my extra stuff.
    Thonnir would start attacking me if I accidentally hit him.
    Accidentally attacking Thonnir would also put a bounty on my head, so the next time I went to his hometown, I’d be chased by guards.
    Thonnir could never die. If he attacked me and I attacked him until his health hit zero, he’d fall to one knee until his health came back, then he’d start attacking me again.
    Once Thonnir decided he wanted to kill me, the only way to get him to stop was to ditch him. He’d come back eventually just like other companions would, and when he returned his aggression would be gone. Maybe it’s because he’d had time to think about how stupid he is.
    Thonnir would never go away. I could injure him and leave him for dead, but he’d just come right back.

Over the next few quests, we’d be okay for a while, but then I’d hit an enemy with a fireball and he’d be close enough to take a little splash damage, then suddenly that big doofus would start swinging at me instead of the bad guys and I’d have to take him down. Then I’d move on without him while his health recharged, then a few seconds later he’d come right back and try to kill me. He was the the Robin to my Batman, if Robin was an immortal, aggressive moron with an axe and Batman hated him.

Most NPCs (non-player characters, to those of you non-nerds) tend to say a few pre-set things every once in a while. “How ‘bout this war we’re having?” “I like/dislike my village.” “I am a farmer.” And so on. It’s a way to keep the most minor characters at least somewhat lifelike. It makes sense. If you’re designing an expansive virtual world, you don’t want to fill it with a bunch of mute laborers.

So, being a minor NPC himself, Thonnir had a few canned phrases he’d repeat at random intervals. You know what his favorite topic for idle chitchat was? His dead wife. Specifically, how hard it was going to be to raise his son without her. What a fun guy! We’d be sneaking through a fortress of bandits together, and I’d be watching for enemies or traps when he’d blurt out, “MY WIFE IS DEAD.”

To make matters worse, I killed his wife, which just makes him a passive-aggressive jerk. I get it, dude! You don’t have a wife anymore! Maybe she ran away and became a vampire because you’re whiny and you suck at fighting? You’re the worst.

Eventually we went back to that vampire’s lair and finished the job that bound us. We killed that jerk vampire at his own dinner table, actually. It was awkward. And why’d he have a dinner table? Doesn’t he eat blood to survive? Why’d he have so much cheese? I hope he was actually a vampire and not just a pale guy in a bathrobe.

Anyway, after we killed the master vampire (and/or possible computer programmer) Thonnir thanked me and went home. I reunited with Lydia, my non-shitty companion from before. I haven’t seen Thonnir since, but one time I was in his town for whatever reason and I walked past his house. I was tempted to steal everything he had and then fill his house with brooms and other garbage. He’d just be this stupid video game character with a house filled with brooms, and I’d hate him.

thelibrarina: This was the first thing that came up when I googled “what the fuck is Thonnir’s problem” and I could not be more pleased with the result.

 
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