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Castle Whiterock Session 01


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#21 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:22 AM

Hal: "Did I hear somebody say 'ogre'?"
Nikki: "No?"
Alex: "Nope."
Hal: "I'm pretty certain I did."
Danny: "Actually, the gnome is correct."
Hal: "I'm not a gnome! Gnomes have bigger noses and smaller bellies."
Danny: "Fine, fine! Our dwarf is correct."
Hal: "Look, is this a beard? No, no it's not, it's my weasel."
Alex: "Oh my god!"
 

 

Matt: "Just wait until he learns fireball, Danny, that's all I'm gonna say." ;)
 


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#22 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:23 AM

Danny: "Fine lady, has anyone ever said what a lovely pair of..." *Smacks lips*
Hal: *Whispering* "Eyes! Eyes, dammit!"
Danny: ""...Hands! You have. They're so... handy!" I think we just discovered why I haven't gotten laid in two years."
 


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#23 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:24 AM

Alex: "There, there Danny, have some cheese."
Danny: "Mmm, cheese - is it homemade?"
Jess: "Yeah, it's toe cheese."
Danny: "Wasn't what I was thinking, but we'll run with that - probably a lot more wholesome."
 


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#24 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:24 AM

Jereme: "Doesn't look like a wizard, 'cause he carries around a longbow."
Matt: "So you don't want to look like a wizard, to avoid all the monsters targeting you?"
Danny: "He's a SMART wizard."
Hal: "I don't have no robes on! I'd look stupid, I'm a halfling."
Alex: "Yeah, it'd look like you're wearing a dress."
Danny: "Desmond will find you a nice dress, don't worry."
Hal: "Only on the weekends." ;)
 


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#25 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:25 AM

Jereme: "I'm also a generalist wizard, as well."
Danny: "I thought you were specialised in evocation?"
Jereme: "No, I spell focused evocation, but I want access to all the spell lists."
Danny: "Ohhh! I misunderstood your post."
Matt: "Listen to him: "Access to all the spell lists" - I've ruined him with Rolemaster, I so have."
Hal: "You can't ruin anyone with Rolemaster."
 


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#26 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:25 AM

Matt: "If you weren't an elf, you could find numerous ladies of negotiable virtue; of course, being an elf, you could probably find some young gentlemen of negotiable virtue." ;)
 


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#27 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:25 AM

Matt: "This may be a new record - we are 1 hour and 43 minutes into this campaign, and Scaly's already thinking about burning down the town."
Jereme: "No, just a tavern."
 


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#28 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:26 AM

Nikki: "She been mighty helpful - give the lady a silver, won'tcha?"
Alex: "Seth slips her a silver, down her dress."
Matt: ""Come back again sometime" she says, giving you a wink."
Alex: "Suuure, why not?"
Matt: "She looks linda like... Oh, who am I thinking of? Kathy Bates!"
Danny: "Who's Kathy Bates, please?"
Nikki: "You seen Titanic? Molly Brown."
Alex: "Oh gawd, she's the woman in Misery!"
Danny: "Oh dear Christ horror! Power of Christ compels you! Back, foul beast." :(
Alex: "Seth curses his fingers for slipping when he was slipping her the coin."

 


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#29 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:26 AM

Danny: "I'm a player, not a GM, it's scary and intimidating - little bit exciting, like sex, only I wouldn't know - being a nerd."
Hal: "You read that in a book, mate, didn't you?" ;)
Matt: "You're in good hands, I've been doing this since before you were born."
Danny: "Is that what the prostitutes always tell you?"
Matt: "...Pretty much."
 


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#30 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 06:29 AM

Jereme: "I was SO close to burning down a tavern."
Danny: "Scaly, can you PLEASE stop killing NPCs at every turn?!"
Alex: "Quell your homicidal tendencies, man."
Danny: "Hi, I'm an NPC, I give you plot! - DIE, WHORE!" *Pfwushhh!* _flame__by_GirlFlash.gif
Jereme: "I don't kill every NPC?"
Danny: "Hi, I'm the NPC to replace the one you killed - DIE, WHORE!" *Pfwushhh!* _flame__by_GirlFlash.gif

 


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#31 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 26 November 2013 - 04:52 AM

Jess: "What time of day is it?"
Matt: "Let's say... Around 8:30, getting on evening."
Jess: "Okay."
Matt: "No, no, no - let's say it's 8:37."
Jess: *Laughs* "Wow, I can tell the time very well." :)
Danny: "Dat high Wisdom."
Matt: "I like to be precise."
 


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#32 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 26 November 2013 - 04:52 AM

Alex: "Well, considering the only other person there right now is ranger girl and halfling boy..."
Hal: "Halfling boy?!"
Danny: "Ranger girl and halfling boy?!"
Nikki: "We sound like a super hero duo!" :)
Matt: "That is so a comic book!"
Danny: "I just decided: I hate you more than I hate Scaly, Alex."
 

 

Matt: "He stands with his fists on his hips - no, sorry..."
Danny: "Fists on his weasel!"
 


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#33 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 26 November 2013 - 04:53 AM

Later on, a female bard starts regaling the tavern's patrons with her sweet danceable tunes:

Nikki: "And haow drunk am Ah, at this point?"
Matt: "You're probably at the 'numb cheeks' phase."
Nikki: "Okay, Ah'm dancing." *Giggle*
Matt: "If she's dancing by herself, that shirt's coming off! Oh, sorry."
 

 

Ranger Girls Gone Wild. :)


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#34 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 26 November 2013 - 04:54 AM

Matt: "And of course, she follows it up with something sad and melancholy in a different language."
Nikki: "Then Ah guess Ah'll hit the hay."
Jereme: "Roll d6 for which room she walks in on!"
Danny: "Hahaha! The next day, Ranger Girl wakes up with Desmond - and the halfling!"
Hal: "Yuuup, and a big smile on her face - don't forget the weasel."
Danny: "And we're not talking about Seth."
 


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#35 Pencil-Monkey

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Posted 26 November 2013 - 04:55 AM

Next morning, breakfast is served:

Matt: "Bit of a buffet, fruits and cheeses and y'know... small pots of weak tea."
Nikki: "Vitlimbs!"
Matt: "What?"
Danny: "Wha?!"
Matt: "Oh, vittles!"
Danny: "And for non-Americans... what?"
Matt: "Food."
Danny: "Oh - why didn't you just call it fuckin' "food"?!"
Matt: "I'm on that ...I have neighbors who may-or-may-not be their own fathers, and I've never heard them say 'vittles'."
Hal (sitting in Texas): "You wanna come down here."
Nikki: "And when you're sleeping, do they offer you a 'pillar'?" :)
 


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