Alas, as of this point, no additional session of Ptolus has been recorded. While attempts have been made, is hard enough wrangling all six people of the ptolus group into playing at the same time while still giving me decent warning to prep. For the moment Ptolus is, unfortunately, on long-term hiatus.
In case you guys ever decide to play more Ptolus, here's a recap of session 9 your players can use to jog their memories:
After a 9 month hiatus, the group finally reconvenes to play Ptolus. First, though, the players banter about other current games they'd rather be playing, like Jade Regent, or finished games they remember fondly, such as Tomb of Haggemoth, or upcoming attractions, e.g. Lockhart's 24-hour-Gamestravaganza (well, playing-most-of-the-day-game, really) of Carrion Crown with his Tuesday night group.
Lockhart begins the game by recapping the events that transpired in episode 8: Silver the witch had disappeared, presumed kidnapped, and the party found a note that led them to George the fabulous
were-perfumist. Chevy reasoned that since Blindey (AKA Jerry) was a worshipper of the god of man-loving ("What?! No, I'm not! GACK GACK"), they could let George have his wicked way with the unsuspecting teenage oracle, whilst the rest of party made use of the distraction to search the perfumist's shop. Evidence was uncovered confirming that George had indeed been involved in the abduction of Silver, as well the kidnapping of the girl Celeste, whose parents had hired the adventurers to find her. Retracing George's steps, the sewers appeared to be the next step in the investigation. Jerry was rescued before the were-maphrodite had time to do anything worse than drugging him. Searching the immediate environs, the party located a nearby open sewer grate. Gol'moth tried to loot perfumist's vast collection of alchemical equipment, while Jerry was struggling to recover from his drug-induced stupor.Jack: "Pull your pants up. Is it gonna bleed when you poop?"
Brad: "He always poops when he bleeds!"
Aimee: "Didn't you miss us, listeners?"
The party decides to hogtie George and leave him behind while they go search for Silver in the sewers.Jack: "I have 100' of hemp rope."
Brad: "Minus the 6 or 7 feet you smoked."
Jack: "That was the dog, and you can't prove otherwise. *Woof!* Eh, shut up."
After bickering about what kind of opposition they might expect to face in the sewers (hopefully just four turtles and their rat master - worst case scenario, they might run into the Great Flushed One, Shit-thulhu, and his brother Shart-thulhu), and some more references to Brinetown's infamous "back door of the swamp", the adventurers climb reluctantly into the odiferous depths. They immediately bump into a group of cloaked and hooded individuals, wielding crossbows. Although the masked cultists claim to be worshippers of the slug god, guarding a sacred spot, the PCs' Sense Motive checks say otherwise.Brian: "There is no slug god! There is only Zuul."
Jack: "Wait, what? I thought your god was the god of man-loving?"
Brian (choking with impotent rage): "GACK, GA'ACK!"
When the adventurers refuse to leave the 'sacred spot', the cultists call for back-up. A familiar face walks around the corner, and the party is now face-to-face with their drinking buddy from the previous game session: Brunsk the brawny vodka-soused rat-catcher from the frigid Northern lands.Jack: "Mandy, you better be worth this."
Mandy: "I'm not, I'm in the other end of the sewers!"
Chevy and Blaze try to convince Brunsk not to smush them with his giant bludgeoning weapon, while the cultists are screaming for blood. Brunsk is visibly confused; corporate ethics are evidently not part of the curriculum in barbarian school.Brian, impersonating Brunsk: "Yoo mean cult in sewars arr not trustwurfy? Ah am shokked! Stand still... Can't. Tell. If; sarcastic! Accent; too thick!"
Eventually, a succesful Diplomacy from Jerry manages to sway Brunsk to join the party against the Northerner's former employers.Jerry: "I'll cast a spell on the nearest cultist."
Brian: "Yes, I DOOM him."
Jack: "Do they die in ten seconds?"
Brian: "No, nothing quite so dramatic - what kinda ridiculous spell are you thinking of?"
During the postbellum looting session, the party discovers a secret door the cultists were guarding. The door leads to the cultists' cloakroom, which is immediately ransacked for any portable valuables, including the dirty laundry. Rummaging through the sewer dwellers' evil pocket lint, some identity papers are uncovered.Brad: "ID papers? For a guy called Ben Dover."
Jack: "Cousin of yours?"
Another door leads further into the cult headquarters.Lockhart: "As you enter the room, you see that affixed to the far wall are two sets of shackles, one currently holding your dear friend and ally, Silver."
Jack: "Hah! You stupid bitch."
Lockhart: "...What immediately grabs your attention is the robed individuals armed with sickles."
Battle is joined! Jerry, trying to avoid provoking AoOs from the cultists, skulks closer to the wall. This maneuver may have saved him from contracting sickle-slice anemia, but thanks to his near-total blindness, he also ends up facing the wall with his longspear tangled in a tapestry.
In a bizarre case of life imitating art, Aimee discovers that Brian is suffering from pinkeye, rendering him nearly as myopic as his character, Jerry.Lockhart: "You people stop getting sick on Ptolus nights!"
Brian: "I'm here! I'm awake, I'm taking actions, stop complaining."
In the room next door, the party spots another group of cultists chanting around a pit, filled with little blobs of hungry amoebal vileness, writhing to the tunes of the pipes and drums. Suspended over the pit hangs a human sacrifice: a frightened young woman, wearing naught but a white camisole - Celeste, the kidnapped girl the adventurers were hired to find.Jack: "That CAN'T be her! We were told she was wearing a BLUE dress."
Jerry has been struggling to free his weapon. The other party members prepare to sneak up on the chanting cultists and catch them unawares - at this point, Jerry's gives a hard tug on his shaft (his longspear...) and the curtain just rips off the wall. There's a momentary pause in the chanting, as everyone freezes and stares at each other. Then, the high priestess commands her minions to drive out the infidels!
Brad: "Why is it always "KILL THEM"? why can it never be "discuss angrily with them, on why they should not be doing this"?"
Brian: "Escort them violently out of this life."
Jack: "Now, let's not go THAT far!"
The party manages to hold their own against the cult members, at least in part thanks to Silver the witch rejoining the group and providing magical support with her hexes (even though she was never allowed to learn the Sleep hex).
Mandy: "No, Carter told me I couldn't pick that."
Brad: "Yeah, there's a reason for it. Every time you're in combat, you could just go Sleep, Sleep, Sleep - now it's four-on-one!"
Jack: "Don't you guys remember who our GM is? Things like that just don't happen!"
Jack: "But, but, but that guy was yawning right before?! - Immune to sleep!"
Realizing that the adventurers might be stronger than her henchmen, the high priestess decides to make a run for it. First, she dumps Celeste into the pit of writhing blobs as a distraction. The party splits up (always a bad decision), some staying behind to save the girl and mop up the last stragglers, while the others chase the priestess.
Her trail leads to a large chamber, filled with cages and redolent with the scent of penned animals. Lots of animals, lots of different animals. Chimerical monsters glare from between the bars of the cages; unnatural creations, limbs fused together into blasphemous shapes and horrifying abominations. Arachna-squirrels, two-headed dogs, bear-shark-octopi, and other weird stuff the GM found while searching for photosho- ...Erm, other strange hybrid beasts that the high priestess invented, yes.
Brad: "Is that a hood ornament on somebody's car?"
Lockhart: "That's a shark-seal! The rat hydra's bigger than you - it's gonna eat you in one gulp."
Jack: "Does each head have a different cone effect?"
Lockhart: "...Cone effect?! *Grins* Uh, how do you know about my home-brewed creature?"
Brian: "Sharkgulls! If I die, I'm happy to have been killed by something as stupid as that."
Plenty of free XP, but still no sight of the high priestess. Further down a corridor, a lucky Perception check reveals smears of blood on the floor, along a chalk line, which turns out to be the demarcation of a swinging axe trap. Gol'moth does a Mission: Impossible to bypass the trap, and the PCs reach a chamber that looks inhabited. Its contents have been tossed across the floor, clothes discarded, drawers opened, furniture knocked over. Yet another secret door is concealed in here; presumably, the high priestess escaped that way. A quick Search check produces a cherrywood music box, a shiny opal, a collection of George's perfumes, and sundry other valuables.
GM Lockhart makes an executive decision to call it a night, when the players' constant yawning becomes too annoying.
[i]Brian: "Sorry, I got so tired."
Jack: "You don't like me, I get it."
Brad: "No-one likes you, Jack, what are you talking about?"
Jack: "...That hurt."
Brian: "I was just listening to Brad's story of swimming upstream in the Dominican Republic, and-"
Lockhart: "Before we discuss when we'll do the next one, let's turn off the recorder, so our listeners will have to wait in horrible anticipation."
Jack: "Yes yes, we'll set another date."
Brad: "We'll see you again in 2013."
Jack: "How's the next nine months for you? Pencil it in."
Waitaminnit... If they were planning on playing again after nine months, and this episode was uploaded back in... That means the next session is right about - [i]now! Hoody hoo!
[i]Jack: "Nah, I was talking in character, as the dog. That's nine months in dog years - see ya in 2018, sucker!"
Son of a bitch... :evil: Literally!