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Christmas Competition!


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#21 Lindsay

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Posted 12 November 2006 - 04:22 PM

Riddles, thats Brilliant!!!


Very impressed Lindsay
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#22 riddles

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Posted 13 November 2006 - 04:29 AM

Riddles, thats Brilliant!!!


Very impressed Lindsay


:oops:

Strangely, I find doggerel worryingly easy!
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#23 Thing

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Posted 13 November 2006 - 06:24 AM

Riddles, thats Brilliant!!!


Very impressed Lindsay


:oops:

Strangely, I find doggerel worryingly easy!

Hmmm, perhaps you should investigate a prestige class in advertising. ;)
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#24 Salubrai

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Posted 13 November 2006 - 02:11 PM

I'm BEGGING for another Christmas special featuring Porn Santa! I KNOW he's dead, but it could be a PREQUEL. Or he could be BACK FROM THE DEAD.
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#25 DeTheGreat

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Posted 13 November 2006 - 03:17 PM

mmm...necrophelia... nothing like cracking open a cold one.

:!:
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#26 Isis

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Posted 13 November 2006 - 04:13 PM

If we're straying into poetry...(apologies for long post, and to C.C.Moore (1822) for mangling his classic piece)

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The dice bags were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Monte soon would be there.

The gamers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of downloads danced in their heads.
And Lindsay in her curlers, and Hal in his cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Hal sprang from the bed to see what was the matter(4 ranks in Jump).
Away to the window he flew like a flash (base speed 50ft),
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash (Str 20).

The glow from the breast of the cleric below
Gave the lustre of day to the new-fallen snow.
When, what to Hal's wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a cute halfling driver, so lively and quick,
Hal thought for a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than dragons her coursers they came,
And she hollered, and cursed, and called them by name!

"Now, Ratool! now, Buglac! now, Bragdor and Woot!
On, Kodo! On, Kalhissth!, Slithess and Gerout!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now grab it all! Nick it all! Stash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With a sleigh-bag of holding, and St Feylin too.

And then, in a twinkling, Hal heard on the roof
The grinding and gnawing of each little tooth.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Feylin snuck in a bound.

The bone of a kobold she held tight in her teeth,
And the smoke of a fireball swirled round from beneath.
She had a blue face and a little round belly,
That shook when she laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

She was dressed all in silk, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all garnished with jewellery and loot.
A wondrous Rod she had strapped to her back,
Then a strange looking dwarf jumped out of her sack.

His ears-how they fluttered! his dimples how merry!
His crossbow was rusty, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
While the nubbins on his chin just seemed to glow.

He was grubby and plump, a right grumpy old dwarf,
And Hal laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself! (elf, not dwarf, 'cos elves are just better)
A vacant look in his eye, and a bump on his head,
Soon gave Hal to know he had nothing to dread ("I'm blind!").

Feylin spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And emptied the stockings, then turned to the jerk.
And laying her finger on his grim purple robes,
And waving the Rod, up the chimney they rose!

She sprang to her sleigh, to her slaves gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But Hal heard her exclaim, ‘ere she drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas you shower of bastards, and to all a good-night!"

Another Christmas special (more porn-Santa)!:D


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#27 Keener

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Posted 13 November 2006 - 04:37 PM

I'm BEGGING for another Christmas special featuring Porn Santa! I KNOW he's dead, but it could be a PREQUEL. Or he could be BACK FROM THE DEAD.

I vote for Porn Satan also, I mean Santa
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#28 Thing

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Posted 13 November 2006 - 04:54 PM

Hmmm, well since last years Christmas special ended with it being eternal Christmas they could combine the two, but I guess Santa would be a bit too busy and tired to be to pervy.

But some of us might be able to pick up the slack.
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#29 riddles

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 04:17 AM

Isis wins. :D

That was brilliant, though I suspect Hal isn't Str 20... :P
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#30 Lindsay

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 04:52 AM

Isis, that was amazing...well done!
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#31 Boonide

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 07:19 AM

Isis, hands down.
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#32 Keener

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 08:57 AM

My vote goes to Isis also
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#33 Isis

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 11:43 AM

Aw, shucks *blushes*
Thanks.:D

This site is bad for distracting me from actually studying...

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#34 Salubrai

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 01:19 PM

Hmmm, well since last years Christmas special ended with it being eternal Christmas they could combine the two, but I guess Santa would be a bit too busy and tired to be to pervy.

But some of us might be able to pick up the slack.


Perhaps. You're a big fellow. But could you really fill his shoes and his latex red suit?
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#35 Thing

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 01:35 PM

Hmmm, well since last years Christmas special ended with it being eternal Christmas they could combine the two, but I guess Santa would be a bit too busy and tired to be to pervy.

But some of us might be able to pick up the slack.


Perhaps. You're a big fellow. But could you really fill his shoes and his latex red suit?

As long as it isn't that one from the Britney Spears video. That was, err umm, looked a little snug in the joy tackle department.
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#36 Isis

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 02:49 PM

Thing in Britney's latex suit...:twisted:

My mind lingered a disturbingly long time on that.
Possibly through shock 8O

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#37 Boonide

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Posted 15 November 2006 - 01:44 AM

I picture Thing as an amorphorous blob of perversion and something to look up to in times of need.

A red latex catsuit is PRECISELY what he needs.

Why did "Thingle bells" just chime in my head after writing that?

*shudder*
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#38 Thing

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Posted 15 November 2006 - 08:24 AM

Yes, the imagining can take but a moment,
but the scaring can last a lifetime. :twisted:
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#39 Jigen

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Posted 15 November 2006 - 09:25 AM

As we leave Christmas, and return to Halloween....
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#40 Ffaern

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Posted 17 November 2006 - 08:35 AM

As my attention span declines with age I vote for "Seasonal Ornament"
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